The Bleached Mutch
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Geordie Murison from Stonehaven: On Autumn Harvest ah010: Old Songs & Bothy Ballads: Hurrah Boys Hurrah! Live from the Fife Traditional Singing Festival May 2010.

Usually known by the title Jock Tamson's Tripe, this entertaining song relates the tale of a drunken Jock Tamson coming home from a party and, feeling like a feast of tripe, his favourite food, he mistakenly swallows part of a linen mutch (a night cap) that his mother had left to soak in bleach overnight. The song was often printed on broadsides and there is a link to a copy printed at the Poet's Box in Dundee on the National Library of Scotland website: Jock Tamson's Tripe. A mutch - a close-fitting day cap of white linen or muslin with a goffered, gathered or trimmed border, specifically as used to be commonly worn by married women.

1: Jock Tamson he bade alang wi's mither,
Peer body he hadna ony ither,
Tae hear her spik o her darlin son,
Ye'd think nursin bairns had new begun.
Wi a toora lay, toora lay,
Laddie fa loora, loora lay.

2: Noo Jock grew up, he learned a trade,
Thocht he had big wages made;
Says he, "I'll hae nae mair brose an butter,
But I'll hae tripe ilkae nicht tae ma supper.
Sing toora lay, toora lay,
Laddie fa loora, loora lay.

3: Jock's mither agreed tae gie him the tripe,
She bocht some an biled it every nicht;
It sat in a can at the gale o the mangle,
Jock ate in the dark tae save the cannle.
Sing etc

4: Noo Jock ae nicht till a weddin he's gaen,
His mither she pit nae tripe in his can;
Says she, "He'll nae be needin his supper
He'll be drinkin something that's stronger than water."
Sing etc

5: Jock's mither she had some mutches tae wash,
Wi lu warm water she gied them a splash;
Wi soap and wi soda she's bleached them fite,
Syne intae the can far Jock kept the tripe.
Sing etc

6: Noo Jock cam hame aboot ane in the morn,
A wee bit barley bree in his horn;
Says he, "I'll hae ma supper I think,
There's nothin like tripe for settlin the drink."
Sing etc

7: Jock fummled aboot for his can in the dark,
For in the hale hoose there wisnae a spark;
At last on the can he's gotten a clutch,
He in wi his han an he pued oot a mutch.
Sing etc

8: Thinks Jock, "Man! this is awfa teuch tripe,
Juist like a gutta percha pipe."
He's torn the border awa fae the croon,
Jocks thrapple bein wide, well the mutch gaed doon.
Sing etc

9: Jock intil his bed tae hae a sleep,
But o inside qualms he had a heap;
He thocht it wis his hinner en,
He jumped oot ower the bed again.
Sing etc

10: Jock's mither awa for the doctor she ran,
For he gapit jist like a chokit swan;
His stomach wis jist like a lump o lead,
Jock thocht that he wis nearly deid.
Sing etc

11: The doctor he cam, he ordered the vomit,
Tae clear aa the fool stuff that was in Jock's stomach;
An aa the neebors amazed tae be sure,
Fen a clean bleached mutch gaed pyoch on the fleer.
Sing toora lay, toora lay,
Laddie fa loora, loora lay.

c p 2011 Autumn Harvest : www.springthyme.co.uk